What is it that you just can’t handle not knowing? You feel like you’ve just got to figure it out, if it kills you. You have to understand it, and until you understand it, you can’t find any peace in it. You have to know how it’s all going to work out, and until you know, you can’t be happy in it.

Can you not be happy in the unknowing?
Can you not be content in the middle of the un-figure-out-able?
Can you not find peace in the un-understanding?

Understanding. You don’t understand, so you’re trying to what … over-stand? This morning, that word “understand” really caught my attention. Two words combined as one. Under and stand. Being under something that stands. And if we’re not under that standing thing, then are we seeking to be over that which stands? What stands is God’s word, God’s plan, God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s power. Isaiah 40:8, “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” Psalm 33:11, “But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever.”Our rightful position is to stand under it. Understand.

Understand. Not figure it out. Not control it. But to simply stand under God’s power. Stand under his timing. Stand under his plan for our lives. We label it as trying to “understand” it, but really what we’re trying to do is over-stand it. We want to stand over it so we can control it. Control the timing of the thing that seems to be taking too long. Control the unfolding of the divine plan over your life, so it aligns with your wishes and the way you think it should all go.

And all God ever asked us to do was be under that which stands. Under stand. Not over stand.

We can paint it up pretty and declare we just want to be prepared for the future, and we want to have more wisdom in the situation, but girl, you’re not fooling God. He knows you’re just trying to control this. You’re trying to twist and contort things to fit what you want, and if it’s not going how you want it to go, then you seek God to get it back in alignment. Yeah, you’re not the only one secretly over there twisting things with the disguise of being prepared. Digging so we know more. I know your game, because I play it well too. We’re trying to control things! We’re trying to over stand. We don’t want to be under anything. We want to be over it. In control of it. Know when and how it’s going to happen, and hold the reigns on it when it does.

I’m making peace with not having it all figured out. I’m finding contentment in not knowing. You know how? By choosing to UNDER-STAND. I choose to place myself under that which stands. God’s power stands in my life. It is unshakable. It is unmatchable. I will get under his power and stay under it. God’s plan in my life stands. It’s a good plan and it has not been cancelled. He is working in the details, directing and discerning what is next. I will get under his plan and stay under it. HE STANDS, and I will assume my rightful position under him.

I understand.

I understand his ways are higher than my ways. I understand his thoughts are above my thoughts. I understand he sees the eternal, while I only see here and now. I understand he holds it all in the palm of his hands and I am secure.

Do I have it figured out? Do I know when and how? No. That’s me trying to OVER STAND. I’m not over that which stands. I’m under it. Stress, overwhelm and anxiety develop when I try to crawl up on top of it and stand over it. When I simply choose to be UNDER it, I’m covered.

Ahhhhh, doesn’t that make sense? This is why the enemy works so hard on our need to control things and figure them all out. He doesn’t want us to be under that which stands because there we are covered. When we try to crawl up to a place of power and control, and be over that which stands in our life, we are no longer covered. And when we are not covered, we are vulnerable. You may think being in control is where you want to be, but this is where you are most vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy of your soul. You’re no longer covered up here in your assumed place of knowing and controlling.

Think about it, that’s precisely how the devil first attacked human beings, and he’s still doing it today.

God placed Adam and Eve, his first divine creation of humans made in his own image, within a garden paradise. There, he gave them everything. They were surrounded by an abundance of beauty, goodness, and provisions. Genesis 2: 16-17, “But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden — except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

Next chapter, in slithers that slimy snake, Satan, and he deceives Eve. He twists God’s truth, and tempts Eve to be OVER it instead of UNDER it. To know what she’s not meant to know. To control the one thing she was never meant to control.

Genesis 3: 1-8, “The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”
“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees.”

Eve was tricked into believing she had to be over instead of under. She had to know what she didn’t know. She had to control the one thing God had told them they were to leave in his complete control. The result? Knowing what they were never meant to know. An awareness God never intended for them, and this awareness created a separation from God. What’s the first thing they did after eating the fruit from the forbidden tree in an attempt to know what they didn’t know? They saw they were naked and they tried to cover themselves, then they hid from God.

This is what the enemy did. And he still does it to us today. He tricks us into thinking we need to know what we’re not supposed to know. He makes us think we’re supposed to be over that which stands instead of under it. That we’re supposed to figure it out, have a plan for it, and control it. And ultimately, this separates us from God.

My Sister, God didn’t ask you to figure this out. He certainly didn’t ask you to control it. He asked you to stay close to him as he stays close to you. Remain under his promises that stand in your life, and stop striving to get over them so you have a sense of control.

God has control. You stay under his control. This is how you understand. Stay under that which stands in your life. Not crawl on top of it and control it. Not wrestle and wrangle it to force your will and your way. You keep trying to be God in this situation, but you’re not. Honey, you’re not equipped to control this. You’re not designed to know all of this. You’re under God’s plan, under God’s promise, under God’s protection, under God’s provision … NOT OVER IT.

I often share the story of my journey with my youngest, beautiful daughter. She’s been away from our family for 4.5 years now, the majority of which I’ve tried to control. I’ve tried to stand in my place of power as the mother of this family and fix this mess. Honestly, on most days I was only making it worse with my fight to harness this hot mess, painted pretty with my good intentions. And it all changed the day God told me to take him off my timeline.

You know, we all have our own little timeline of when things are supposed to be fixed. I would imagine future scenarios of this harm being used for good, then I would buy into those scenarios and place an expectation of “next Christmas”. It was always “next Christmas”. Year after year, it’s been “next Christmas”. My timeline. My control. Me standing over it.

And God placed me back under it, so now I UNDERstand. Not that I have it figured out. Not that it makes sense or feels good, but I’m simply willingly UNDER the promise which I know stands. I’m intentionally staying UNDER the plan which I know stands, no matter how long it takes. I’m choosing to be here, under power which I know stands, even when I don’t see him at work. I’m under it. I’m under it with a commitment of 30 years. That’s what God asked me for. He asked me to trust him with our girl for 30 years and choose joy every day in the process. Today is another blessed day in that journey where I choose joy, and I UNDERstand.

I’m not in control, and I don’t try to be on top. I’m under the most powerful force in the world, a power which holds good plans for my life and my daughter’s life, a power which controls the wind and the waves and the turning of this world. I don’t have to be over that. I can’t be over that. I must remain under it.

Is that what God is asking of you today as well? To just understand like you’ve never done before. Not figure it out. Not control it. But be willfully, intentionally, purposefully under that which stands. To trust you will know what you need to know, and God will know the rest. To find peace in a timeline that reaches into eternity and will all make sense when we get there. To stop wrestling to gain control, and just let life flow.

Yes, when you UNDERstand, life can flow freely, without our stress, overwhelm, or anxiety. Why? Because we’re under the one thing that truly stands.

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