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Maybe you’re living out a story that doesn’t look like you imagined. You had dreams, you had desires, you had plans … and your life seems to have fallen flat. You’ve been left wanting – left waiting – left wondering.
When will things change for you? How much longer do you have to wait? What if what you want will never happen? Then what? Will you just be miserable?
Or what if it does change? What if your waiting is over. What if the very thing you’ve always wanted is on it’s way to you now, it’s literally happening. Then what? Will you finally be happy?
One thing I know for sure – we’re in a continual pursuit of what we think will make us happy, and that mark constantly moves. Most of us literally woke up surrounded by answers to the very prayers we once prayed. Yet we didn’t wake up feeling like we have it all. The mark moved. The distant land of happiness is still just out of your reach. But you tell yourself when you finally get there life will be so good.
It’s almost like the end of the rainbow. It looks like it’s just right over there. Like you can walk right to it. But when you get there, the end of the rainbow has moved on you, so you never quite arrive.
Within our Bible is the story of a woman who waited well. A woman who was brutally honest with God instead of faking her way through it. And a woman who finally got what she wanted and shows us precisely what to do then.
That woman is Hannah. Her story is found in 1 Samuel chapters 1 and 2. Hannah was married to a man with one of those really hard to pronounce names, so we will just call him E. E had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Hannah was the one E really loved, but Peninnah was the one who had given him children. Verse 5 says, “The Lord had closed her womb.”
Why wasn’t she able to have children? It’s actually very clear. The Lord had closed her womb.
Now of course to us that doesn’t seem fair. Why? That’s what Hannah was asking as well. And guess what? God didn’t fault her for asking. He doesn’t find fault in our asking either. You can ask God why.
Why are you left waiting? Why has your life turned in a direction you would have never asked for? What do you have to do to get this to change for you?
Here’s what I notice in these stories in our Bible – if our questioning is directed to God, it is always handled with care and powerful resolve. God always makes a way, or He reveals how His way is for a greater purpose. It’s never left unresolved. He answers.
But the issue becomes when we’re turning to anyone or anything other than God for solutions to our problems. In your wait – in your struggle – in your trial – who are you bringing your questioning to? Where are you going when you are seeking? Those self-help books are not your answer. That relationship isn’t your answer. That promotion isn’t your answer. That number on the scale isn’t your answer. That next accomplishment isn’t your answer.
Your answer is God.
Hannah could have become bitter. She could have become resentful. She could have given up on God altogether. Instead, she ran to Him.
At this time in history, once a year you could go up where the priest was and offer a sacrifice and worship the Lord. Yes, just once a year. Every year when Hannah would go to worship the Lord, there E’s other wife would be as well. And there, Peninnah, the wife with children, would poke at her. Verses 6-7, “Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.”
Every time Hannah went to worship God, she was only reminded of what she didn’t have. Reminded of what she wanted but still lacked. Reminded of her struggle, her short-coming, and her future that looked nothing like she had imagined. Year after year. Prayer after prayer. Disappointment after disappointment.
But you know what she didn’t stop doing – she didn’t stop going to worship God. She didn’t sit in her hurt, wallow in her disappointment, and give up on God. She kept going to worship. Even when this awful woman would be there. Even when she was reminded of what she didn’t have. SHE KEPT GOING TO GOD.
Girl, whatever you’re waiting on, you keep going to God. Don’t let anyone discourage you. Don’t let anyone or anything get in your way of going to God.
Now, this part of the story shows us our most important move. Verse 10, “In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.”
She didn’t hold it in. She didn’t pretend like she was okay. She let it all out. She was desperate before the Lord.
Jamie Macdonald has a song called Desperate. Girl, cry out those words to God if you’re waiting for him. Don’t hold it in. Don’t pretend like you’re okay when you’re not.
I’m at the end of myself and I’m
Tired, I’ve tried all that I know to do
Right now it’s just by a thread but I’m
I’m hanging on to you
I’m running out of hope
I need a miracle
And if I ever needed you, it’s right now
Oh God, I’m desperate
Down on my knees
Send help from heaven
‘Cause that’s what I need
Redeem this wreckage
Restore my peace
I’m not asking, I’m begging
Lord, come through for me
I need heaven and I’m
Desperate
Get desperate before God.
Hannah was so desperate before God, praying, begging, crying, the priest thought she was drunk. No, Hannah wasn’t drunk, she was desperate.
Girl, let yourself be desperate for God. Stop trying to hold it all together. Stop pretending you’re okay. Stop with the facade. Get real before the Lord. If you’re not fine, stop saying you are.
Somewhere along the way we’ve gotten the idea that faith means pretending we’re fine. Hannah would disagree. Faith isn’t pretending you’re okay. Faith is bringing your honest heart before a faithful God.
God can handle your questions. He can handle your tears. He can handle your disappointment. He’s not intimidated by any of it.
And perhaps this is what you need to hear today—you don’t have to fake contentment while you’re waiting. God isn’t asking you to pretend you don’t care. He’s asking you to bring what you care about to Him.
Notice what happened after Hannah prayed. She didn’t immediately become pregnant. Her circumstances hadn’t changed. God hadn’t yet answered her prayer. But here’s what she did after she cried out to the Lord – verse 18, “She went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.”
Something shifted in Hannah. She no longer carried this burden. She had left this in the hands of God.
Let me tell you something—whatever you’re waiting on, whatever you’re hoping for, whatever you’re desperate for—it is perfectly held in the hands of God. PUT IT THERE. And when you do, your circumstances may not change immediately, but you can feel different. You can feel lighter. You can live better.
At that point, nothing had changed, but Hannah had. She walked into God’s presence carrying her burden, and she walked out having left it there.
I wonder if that’s what God is inviting some of us to do today—not to stop wanting what we want, but to stop carrying what He has invited us to surrender. You don’t have to know what God is going to do next. You simply have to know where to go while you’re waiting. Go to Him.
So how does the story end? Well, it’s easy to say the story ends with God giving Hannah what she had begged Him for. Verse 20 says, “So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I asked the Lord for him.'”
The end of the rainbow? No.
This isn’t the end. Let me tell you what Hannah did after she got what she had waited for so long. Let me tell you what she did when the Lord answered and her story changed.
Verse 27, Hannah goes to worship the Lord and she once again prays, “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I GIVE HIM TO THE LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”
In chapter 2, her prayer continues, “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. I delight in your deliverance.”
Who is Hannah worshiping? The Lord.
And here’s where we often mess up—God gives us what we asked for, our prayers are answered, we’re living in His blessing, and that thing becomes our god. Our focus shifts to what God gave us instead of the God who gave it to us.
Whatever God does for you, make sure you give it back to Him. Don’t let your blessing take the place of the Blessor.
And maybe that’s been God’s invitation all along.
When you don’t have it—trust Him.
When you’re waiting—trust Him.
When He says no—trust Him.
When He says not yet—trust Him.
And when He says yes—trust Him still.
Hannah teaches us that contentment isn’t found in finally getting what you’ve always wanted. If it were, she would have ended her story in chapter 1 holding Samuel in her arms. Instead, she begins chapter 2 with her hands lifted in worship.
Her greatest joy wasn’t that she had a son. Her greatest joy was that she had her God.
Perhaps that’s the secret of contentment. It’s not found in getting the life you imagined. It’s found in knowing the God who is writing your story.
Whether you’re in chapter 1 weeping bitterly or chapter 2 singing joyfully, He is still worthy. He is still good. And He is still enough.
So bring Him your waiting. Bring Him your questions. Bring Him your disappointments. Bring Him your answered prayers. Put it all in His hands and leave it there.
Because the greatest gift God will ever give you isn’t what comes from His hand—it’s His hand itself.
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