Since tomorrow is my birthday, we’re going to do something totally different. I’m going to tell you the story behind the scenes. How did all of this start? What did God do to bring me here to be talking to you? Quite simply, I was straight up tricked! I share all of this today so that you can see how God wants to work in your life and how you already have everything needed for a purpose greater than you could possibly imagine.

For me, it can all be summed up in one word: PROVIDENCE – God working his supernatural will through natural circumstances. Providence is always best seen in reverse.

This morning, I spent some time looking back to see God’s hand in the details of my life to bring me to this place where I get to speak to you daily. How did we get here? What supernaturally unfolded in seemingly natural circumstances?

My story, much like your story, first starts with the hard stuff. Isn’t it funny how God’s greatest works begin in the unfair. In the stuff you would avoid if you could. In the struggle. In the darkness. But we’re like these little caterpillars fighting a cocoon that is here for our benefit. We just can’t see that when we’re in it. I have to wonder if maybe we’re in our next cocoon of darkness, hardship, struggle, and all the things we wanted to avoid, because God is preparing us for so much more than we could ever imagine. Life really is a series of growing and getting better, and that means perpetual cocoons followed by breakthroughs.

The enemy continually tries to harm us, but God always uses it for good instead. Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Yes, the enemy thinks he has you trapped in struggle, hardship and darkness, but God uses it as a cocoon.

My first cocoon came in the form of a massive brain stem stroke as a newlywed at the age of 19. I was left unable to walk or talk, had lost a good chunk of my memories and my overall confidence. While I didn’t have a deep faith at that time, I had a God who never left my side and faithfully healed me against all odds. It was declared a freak accident and I was told to take an asprin a day to be safe and continue on with my life. So, that’s what I did. At 23, I became pregnant with our first child and 6 weeks before my due date, I had another stroke. The next few years I found myself in a series of mini-stokes, sometimes several in one week, each fearfully leading to the next big one that I might not survive. I began living in fear. I planned my own funeral. I laid out my funeral clothes and hid goodbye letters in my bible. God came to me one night as a I laid in bed, stretched out his hand to me and asked me if I was ready. I said no. Now, I understand he granted me more time and gave me the opportunity to continue living this life, so it can’t be wasted.

You want to know why I wake up so dang happy every day with overflowing gratitude? That’s why! Because I know it is truly a gift.

I found myself back in the hospital again, and this time everything changed. I prayed a prayer and made a commitment, a promise to not waste what I had been given. I committed to becoming the girl who would run if he would just let me walk again. I committed to being the girl who would tell everyone about him if he would just let me talk again. You want to know where it all started … that’s where it started. That’s why I’m here today. I have a faithful God who healed me and a promise I’m just trying to fulfill.

A few weeks after that hospital stay, my husband heard an advertisement on the radio of the American Stroke Association looking for stroke survivors to run a marathon. He gave me the information for the meeting, and I obliviously went. I signed up. And on my way out the door, I turned around and asked, oh by the way, how far is a marathon? 26.2 miles! Oh I had made a horrible mistake. I was the nearly 6 foot tall girl who became a cheerleader because basketball required running. I had never run a full mile in my life. Ever.

But, the commitment was made and a 5 month training program was offered. In 5 months I went from zero miles to being able to run 26.2 miles without walking, and it changed my life. It was God’s providence guiding me here to you today.

They asked me to return the next season and be a mentor helping others run their first marathon. This was my first taste of being a mentor, and I was hooked. Soon after, the American Stroke Association asked me to be their spokesperson. So, I began speaking. And I was hooked again.

I didn’t wake up one day with a new found purpose and all the talent in the world to step into it … it was just one little step at a time, one unfolding opportunity I was naive enough to say yes to. Most of the time I was in way over my head. I had no idea what I was doing, but I’ve found when you are willing to show up God can do incredible things through you.

And that’s it, my sister, God is simply looking for an available vessel. If you will be available, he will use you. If you will be faithfully committed to remaining available, God will blow you away! I’ve found he’s not looking for a one time availability, he’s looking for a commitment. Will you show up no matter what? Will you continue even when it gets hard? If you will be that fully committed available vessel, God will do more than you could ever ask, think, or imagine through you. He doesn’t need your wild talents or your extreme abilities. He needs your committed and faithful availability. If you offer that, then he has everything he needs!

From there, I’ve found God will trick you. When you make yourself available, he will straight up trick you into things that are way bigger than you think. Yes, I’ve come to find that God is tricky like that. He knew the big picture would scare me, so he only gave me a little at a time to keep me hooked. Trust me, this little country girl without a single day of college education, would have quickly dismissed herself from the role of being your Jesus wake up call every day. So, he tricked me.

This isn’t what I set out to do. This isn’t even what I signed up for. I had no dreams or vision of this originally. I was just asked by one old highschool classmate 14 years ago if I would be her mentor. She was a single mom of 4 little boys and her words to me through a facebook message were, “I’m a stressed out, worn out, burned out mama. Would you just help me be a Smokin’ Hot Mama again.” She needed motivation. She needed accountability. She needed a plan. And while I felt totally unqualified, I agreed to help her. That day I started a page on Facebook called the “Smokin’ Hot Mama Club” for just her and I. That’s where we would check in daily. The problem was, I was brand new to facebook and didn’t understand how a page worked. It was public, and by the end of the day, we had 30 people there. I also didn’t know how to shut it down, so it grew quickly. And yes, we were called the Smokin’ Hot Mama Club. So totally unintentional, and looking back, I see it was God’s providence. I was being tricked into something I would have dismissed myself from.

One year later, we had our first retreat in the basement of the Joplin, MO city hall, and ran a marathon together. And that’s where it all started, my friends. One little step at a time, it all led here, to this place where I get to bring you Jesus with some pep and zest each morning. And thankfully, the name was eventually changed to BIG Life and it really cut down on the messages I received. I never saw it coming, and it’s a good thing.

In fact, I always tried to keep my faith hidden. My brother was the pastor, he could talk to people about Jesus, I would just help them be happy again. God was never brought to the table. Mainly because I didn’t feel qualified to bring God to the table. I was so emotional with all things spiritual, and ya’ll I’m an ugly crier, so I preferred to just leave him out. And that’s precisely what I did for the first few years.

Then, one day 10 years ago, God showed up in my living room and said to me ever so clearly, “Pamela, I want you to start hosting a daily devotional call.” I couldn’t have made that up because I didn’t even know what a devotional was. I argued with God, and I told him I AM NOT YOUR GIRL. I don’t know any scriptures. I can’t even say Jesus without crying. But he didn’t let me off the hook. I reluctantly agreed to 1 week of devotional conference calls to prove I am not the one. God had it all wrong.

So, that day, I had my husband drive me to the local Barnes and Noble and I found my way to the Christian section. There, I found a Joyce Meyer devotional, I bought it, and the very next morning I hosted the first devotional conference call for like 7 people and I straight up plagiarized and read directly from that book. I cried all the way through the prayer. It was a hot mess. At the end of the week, I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I had failed and surely God would move on and choose someone else for the job. Instead, he simply said, again.

And quite honestly, over 10 years and thousands of devotionals later, he simply hasn’t ever given me permission to stop. He continues to say, “again.” I still question if I’m the right girl for this. I still wonder why he would choose to use a girl with no degree, no training, and very limited knowledge. But I know why … I’m just crazy enough to believe if I show up every morning, God will do what only he can do. And that’s precisely what he has done.

I was tricked. Tricked into a life I would have chosen if I would have only known. Tricked into things I would have ran from if I would have had the details. Tricked into connecting with you, and my heart is truly so grateful.

Today, this is the number 1 daily devotional podcast in the world. What does that mean? I don’t know, because I intentionally don’t look at the numbers. For real, I refuse to see the numbers. I ask my team to keep me in the dark on that. You know why? Because I want to focus on talking to you. You. You as you work out. You as you get ready for your day. You as you drive. Just you. Because the truth is, if you were the only one listening, I would still want to show up for you. It’s why you will never hear an advertisement here. I make precisely zero dollars from this because I want to keep it pure and genuine and focused on you. Everytime God says, “again”, I just want to show up with enough faith believing he will speak through me if I am available. I have no plan beyond that.

My sister, you don’t have to have a plan. Those plans typically don’t work out any way. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You don’t have to have some wild talent or wicked skill. You don’t have to be the best at anything. You simply have to be willing to show up faithfully and be a vessel to whatever God wants to do. And keep showing up. Day after day, you stay committed. God will trick you into things you would dismiss yourself from. He will use you in ways that would terrify you if you saw the full picture. And it will be better than you could ever possibly imagine!

But remember how it often begins. It begins with a hardship. It begins with the thing you would avoid if you could. It begins with darkness and struggle. This is your cocoon. This is where God is doing a transforming work within you, and preparing you for your breakthrough. And girl, when you breakthrough, be daring enough to say yes to whatever opportunity God presents. Respond to his promptings in faith, and when he says do it again, you just keep showing up!

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