A recent study shows that 90% of adults have deep regrets. It’s something we did or something we didn’t do that just eats away at us. That study also shows the more we focus on that regret, the worse our quality of life seems to get. If we get stuck in regret, our life spirals. Guess who loves that downward spiral? Guess who sets that trap, then torments you once you’re in it?
Oh yes, could it be … SATAN? The enemy of your soul. The one whose single mission is to kill, steal and destroy everything God is doing in your life.
Regret. It’s common and it’s dangerous. It’s a threat to the good plans God has for your days. It’s a gnawing at your soul that continually tells you you’re a failure, you don’t deserve goodness, you’re unworthy and you should be ashamed. And this regret … it has no place in the life of a girl who is wildly loved by Jesus!
So, let’s put it on the table so we get it out of your thoughts and out of your heart. What is it you regret? Maybe it’s one big thing that burdens your soul. Or maybe it’s years of choices that all piled up to create a real crapfest you can’t seem to overcome. Okay, it’s on the table now. Here, spread out before your creator who knew every mistake you would make before you ever made them. Here, before the one who you could never hide all of this from, yet the enemy told you this made you unworthy to be God’s girl, so you hid. You pulled away. And all that regret, you can stir it up and serve it on request. You can replay the stories, watch it all unfold, and get stuck in the regret over and over again.
You wondered if you had gone too far, done too much, and it had been too long. The answer … no. Impossible. Sweet girl, you’re simply not that powerful. You can’t run that far. You can’t screw this up to that level.
No, you haven’t gone too far. No, you haven’t done too much. No, it hasn’t been too long. No, God hasn’t given up on you. No, God hasn’t turned away from you. But this regret you carry is now being requested by the Almighty. Satan has been working in the dark corners of your regrets, whispering his lies, sidelining you from stepping into the fullness of all God has for you. Offer it up now.
The regret you could bring up on request and replay in your mind is now being requested by God. He wants your regret. He wants the stories you replay. He wants the shame and guilt that makes you feel unworthy. Your regret is being requested.
God, here is my regret. I so wish I wouldn’t have done this. I can’t go back and change it. I was wrong. I messed this up. I’ve been carrying it around with me all this time wishing I could make it different, but now I see it was never mine to carry. I give you my regret. Take this from me.
Proverbs 28:13,”You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them.”
This is where God’s mercy swoops in and covers you. Mercy is God’s way of withholding punishment when punishment is deserved, and blessing you instead. Blessing you with more than you could ever ask, think, or imagine. Blessing you with total undeserved goodness. This is mercy. And mercy is found when we put all our regrets on the table and leave them in the hands of God.
But right now, you are dismissing yourself from this mercy. You’re reasoning why you aren’t good enough for this kind of mercy. You’re making a case for how others are deserving of God’s mercy, but not you. You don’t deserve mercy. You deserve to carry this regret. And you’re right … that’s the whole point of mercy … it’s taking what you do deserve and giving you what you don’t. Just accept it, Sis. Accept this mercy as you release your regret.
It’s not easy though, is it? It’s not easy to stop regretting what you have been regretting. It still happened. It was still wrong. It still screwed some things up. The problem is, by you dragging it into today, it’s still screwing things up today. This is why God wants all that regret on the table and out of your thoughts and heart so he can handle it and replace it with mercy. Blessings where you deserved punishment. New opportunities after you screwed the last one up.
Psalm 103:12, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
I did a study once on exactly how far the east is from the west so I could understand how far away from me God has taken all the things I regret. There’s a reason why it’s from the east to the west, not the north to the south. The north eventually meets the south, and the south eventually becomes the north. But the east and west will never intersect. No matter how far east you go, you can continue going even further. West never ends. You can go west every day for the rest of your life and never find east in that direction.
And this is what God has done with every single thing we now regret. He has taken it so far away from us, it can never run into us again. I mean unless you’re continually trying to chase it.
Is that what you’re doing? Are you chasing your regrets? Digging them up over and over again to beat yourself up over things you can’t go back and change. Girl, why aren’t you fully walking in the mercy God has offered you? It’s been removed from you, let it go so you can receive God’s mercy.
In the photos on my phone, I have a quote saved. It says, “How to hold regret tenderly: I wish I would have done that differently, and, at the time, I couldn’t.”
At the time, I just couldn’t see another way. At the time, I fell victim to the ploys of the enemy and I was tricked. At the time, I just didn’t know what I know now. But I’m not a victim now. I see things differently. I know better now. So I no longer hold this against myself, I receive God’s mercy.
Ephesians 2: 4-5, “But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)”
I’ve often wondered how God could be so merciful. How could he give us chance after chance as we continually screw this thing up? I heard a song that helped soften my heart to every mistake I’ve ever made and release regrets I held on to. The song is called “Lookin’ For You” by Zach Williams.
All the times that I worked hard
because I believed
That life could have meaning
through the things I’ve achieved
You knew
I was looking for you
Every time I thought romance
might fill up a hole
That incomplete feeling
still ached in my soul
Oh, you knew
I was looking for you
Down a hundred highways
of empty pursuit
And a thousand foolish
things I went through
Didn’t know it back then,
but now I do
I was looking for you
I was looking for you
And when I couldn’t find comfort
in the things I could buy
When the party was over
and the bottle was dry
Oh, you knew
I was looking for you
I was looking for you
Through the canyons
and heartaches
and valleys of pain
Down the pathways full of pleasure
and those dead-end roads of shame
Oh, I couldn’t name the hunger
that I tried to satisfy
I was looking for you
I was looking for you
Can’t you see, this is why God offers such mercy to you. He knows through it all, you were really looking for him. You were trying to fill that empty space within you with all those other things, but none of it would work. What mercy he has for you as you looked for him when you didn’t even know that’s what you were looking for. You just didn’t know it back then. You couldn’t see it. But that empty space inside of you which you constantly tried to fill, was God’s hole.
What mercy he has for his girl who was just looking for him and didn’t know it.
The regret you carry today is totally unnecessary. God used it all to bring you here, where you find what you’ve been looking for all along. It’s him. It’s God. It’s your Creator. It’s the author of your purpose and the bearer of your destiny. Here’s God, waiting for you with open arms and nothing but mercy. Mercy for his girl who was looking for him. Mercy to cover every regret.
And the song ends like this:
In a moment I looked up
from down on my knees
And I cried out to Heaven
I could finally see,
Jesus, Jesus, I know it’s true
All my life
I was looking for you
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