Prayer. Are you doing it right? Do you know the right prayers? Are your prayers getting through?

As a little girl, I was raised in a home that knew nothing of God. Prayer was reserved for before our family meal on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Church was Easter only. One year, I specifically remember being told it was my turn to pray before the holiday meal. I didn’t know how to pray, but I had a little book that included a prayer, so I packed it to Grandma’s house that day to be prepared. When all the family had gathered for our feast, they said, “Pam, we want you to pray.”

I was so excited to lead my family in my very first prayer. I whipped out my little book, and I read: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.”

It was noon. Clearly, I didn’t know the right prayer for the right time. Looking back, I realize I was much like the Aunt Bethany on National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation praying the Pledge of Allegiance before their Christmas meal of overcooked turkey and jello with cat food.

Sometimes I still feel like that little girl who doesn’t know the right prayer. I don’t know the right words. I don’t know what to ask. I just don’t know.

Do you ever feel that way? You’re not alone.

Yesterday, I learned a new prayer and I feel it’s the perfect prayer for those times when you just don’t know what to say. Those times when you’re hurting and you don’t understand why. Those times when it’s all falling apart and you don’t know how to fix it. Those times when you’re lost and you don’t know the way. It’s a quite formal prayer officially called “The I Don’t Know” Prayer, and it goes like this:

God, I don’t know.

Yes, this is the prayer. It’s the right prayer when you simply don’t know what else to pray. It’s the right prayer when you’re aching and don’t know how to make it stop. I’s the right prayer when absolutely nothing makes sense and you don’t know how it ever will. God, I don’t know.

Romans 8:26, “We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.”

Isn’t that precisely what is happening when we stand in the shower and we cry, and we say, “God, I don’t know.” Isn’t the Spirit of God interceding for us with words we can’t even speak? We cry, we sigh, deep aches come from our heart, and the Spirit translates it all into prayer to God. Honey, all you have to say here is, “God, I don’t know.”

This is the most spiritual prayer you could pray. It’s a prayer that goes straight to the heart of God.

I don’t know where to go from here.
I don’t know what is happening.
I don’t know how to do this.
I don’t know what to do next.
I don’t know how to heal.
I don’t know how to handle it.
I don’t know how to fix it.
I don’t know how this is going to ever be okay again.

Whatever it is you don’t know, you just bring it to God and the Spirit will intercede for you. In ways you can’t understand. In sighs and groanings too deep for words.

And then, with whatever tiny bit of faith and strength you have left, you say, “But you know.”

And you leave it there.

Maybe you’re dreading Thankgiving because there’s an empty chair at the table that brings pain you can hardly bare. How do you pray around that table? You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

Maybe you’re wondering how in the world you’re going to buy a single present for the kids this year and the thought of them being disappointed just breaks you. You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

Maybe you’re putting on a nice smile with the family gathered, but the truth is, your marriage is absolutely falling apart and you’re not sure you can even make it until Christmas. You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

Maybe everyone is playing nice, but all hell broke loose one hour before and this family is a hot mess mix of chaos, turmoil, tempers and bad decisions. You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

Maybe you’re sharing a meal with the very person who has hurt you the most. Seeing them brings back the pain and the memories, and here they are pretending like it never happened. You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

Maybe life is so good that you don’t even feel qualified to ask for a single other thing. You pray the “I Don’t Know Prayer.”

God, I don’t know, but you know. How will the Spirit translate that to the heart of God? It will be translated into a surrendered life. Into a soul seeking his power to change things. Into the faith of a child who doesn’t know what to say, but that faith is so pleasing to God.

Jesus said in Luke 19: 16-17, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

As a little girl, I was searching for the right prayer to pray. As a grown woman who has been walking with God for over 30 years now, I’m still searching for the right prayer to pray sometimes. And it’s still the same … it’s the childlike faith that says, “God, I don’t know, but you know.” Oh how this prayer pleases God.

Maybe this is precisely the prayer your family needs over your Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe this is precisely the prayer you need to pray today.

God, I don’t know. But you know.

Let’s just leave that there and let the Spirit of God do his work.

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