I’m a freakin’ awesome wife.
And he’s an even better husband. Come into our world as we share 2 secrets of our BIG Life Marriage.
Today is one of those monumental, special days in our house. Twenty-one years ago today, at the wise old age of 18, 6 days after my high-school graduation, I made the wisest choice of my entire life . . . I said yes to my high school sweetheart. And just like that, my life was forever changed. Never again would I just be Pamela . . . I would forever be part of the “Lonnie and Pamela Duo.”
In the past twenty-one years we have grown up together. We endured the drama of high school, survived two years separated by the Atlantic Ocean, we moved 10 times, feared death, celebrated life, had a baby, adopted 2 more, succeeded in business, failed in business, sold everything, and chased a wild dream that has rocked our world.
Lonnie and I are opposites in appearance and personality, yet we are the perfect pair. I’m the gas, he’s the brakes. Lonnie teases while I’m Sh*t’n Rainbows, well . . . he’s not! We work side by side every day and yes, we manage to not strangle each other. Now I would love to tell you it’s because I’m just so darn easy to get along with, but the truth is I have my moments of being overly sensitive, defensive and a tad bit on edge. Shocking I know!
What has made us the couple who could withstand the storms of life? Two things . . .
1. I married the right person. What more can I say about that?
2. Our percentage. Percentage . . . yes, that’s what I said. Now let me explain.
What is the percentage of shared responsibility in making a relationship work? 50/50, right? You do your half and I do my half. No.
Is it 51/49? I should be willing to do just a little more than the other person. No.
It is simply 100/100 . . .
I must be willing to give 100%. Only when I am willing to take 100% responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. If I’m only giving 50% in our marriage and expecting him to give the other 50%, we’re both bringing less than our best to the table. Our secret is giving 100%, regardless if it’s really my turn to make the bed or take out the trash.
So there you have it. Twenty-one years after I totally rocked those puffy sleeves and humongous bow on my butt, twenty-one years of two people living BIG Lives together. Twenty-one years and we’re still going strong. I married the right man and we’re both giving 100% . . . 50/50 just won’t cut it!
Is there a relationship in your life that could use a little 100/100?
I get the 100% part but seems only one of us seems to contribute. If I continue to give 100%. Will he eventually come around? We celebrate 28 years thisJune and just going through the motions is such a drain on a spirit. So we do our seperate thing.
Givers do one thing – they give.
Takers do one thing also – they suck. They can suck the life right out of you.
But, has he always been a taker or is this something he has fallen into over the years because of routine and comfort?
My suggestion would be to make a commitment to give your all. Read “Love Languages” book and take the 40 Day Love Dare. Expect nothing in return from him and only focus on doing the right thing. My experience has been as you do this, things begin to change.
My love and prayers to you sister.
I totally agree, it’s never 50/50. I Just turned 20 when I got married. Another words we had to grow up together as well!! Honestly there has been times where we didn’t give our 100%. I have given 156% and I’ve faced times where my husband has had to carry more of the giving than I had the energy to give. Life is full of ups and downs, there’s always someone out there to try and tear you down. Don’t quit. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t stop holding hands. Don’t stop dating. Don’t, don’t, don’t stop laughing together. Life is beautiful and I have been blessed to have the right one by my side for the last 16 years. I believe with God all things are possible!
We are blessed women Tammy. Blessed indeed.