You know what’s funny about anxiety and panic … it does absolutely no good. It doesn’t help you in any way. It doesn’t get you out any faster. It doesn’t change the situation. And 99% of the time, anxiety and panic really makes no sense at all. In that very moment, you’re really okay. It’s our mind that makes us not okay. Why do we do that?

I’m not a fan of tight spaces. For a girl who just flew 28 hours to get home from Bali, it was a marathon event of mastering my thoughts and managing my urge to scream, “get me the heck out of here.” It’s funny, my car is much smaller than the airplane I was flying in. I don’t panic in my car. But looking down the long tunnel of chairs and feeling the tightness of the ceiling and the emergency door I know I can’t open, just makes my heart do a backflip in my chest.

Let me tell you a little story. While we were in Bali we went on many adventures. It is the land of adventure. You want to hike … girl, best hikes of my life. You want views … they have views that go on forever. You want jungles … well they don’t get any more wild than Bali. My favorite adventure was a day of white water rafting followed by riding ATVs through the jungle. The ATV ride would NEVER happen in the US. Like ever. It was wayyyyy too dangerous. Way too risky. That company wouldn’t be able to afford the liability insurance here. But in Bali, there’s no waiver required, you pay the fee, you put on the boots, and whether you know how to drive or not, you’re plopped on an ATV and told to ride. Literally one driver in our group wrecked in the parking lot within the first 30 seconds. We all just kept going.

The wildest part of the ride came deep in the jungle within the caves. Yes, caves. TIGHT spaces. I’m talking openings that are only 3 inches wider than your ATV and tunnels that go on and on and on. I had no idea how long that cave tunnel was when we first entered. But once you’re in, you gotta just keep going. The faster we went, the better I felt. Finally we were out and I was breathing deep.

We rode through waterfalls and straight down the steepest cliffs. Then we turned around and went back up that steep cliff.

There’s one problem with turning around. I realized we were about to go back through the same darn dark caves we had come through. And there I began mastering my thoughts and managing my urge to scream. Then it got worse. In the cave tunnel, the one that’s only 3 inches larger than the ATV I’m riding, there’s a crash ahead of me. We come to a stand still. And the ATVs pile up behind me. And then it hits me, I’m stuck.

I’m stuck in this dark, tight place and I can’t move forward and I can’t back out. I’m suddenly realizing I’m underground and that cave ceiling is closing in on me.

But, it really wasn’t. That cave ceiling wasn’t falling. I wasn’t running out of air. I was absolutely fine. My anxiety and panic wasn’t helping me, and it didn’t even make sense. It was my mind that made me not okay.

Is it your mind that’s making you not okay? Is it your thoughts about the situation that are making the situation worse?

My sister, God is going to get you through this! He is. You’re not going to be stuck here forever.

There’s a scripture tucked away in Isaiah 50: 10 that is perfect for you in your cave of darkness where your heart is doing backflips of anxiety. “For anyone out there groping in the dark, here’s what you do: Trust in God. Lean on your God.”

Well that’s so clear isn’t it?!!!!!

Lean on God.

But what do we do in our state of overwhelm and panic? We lean into our feelings and dark thoughts. One of the very first scriptures I memorized was Proverbs 3: 5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Lean on God, not on your own thoughts and feelings and ways of controlling this.

Listen to that scripture from the MSG translation: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure everything out on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.”

Are you listening for God’s voice here? Can you hear him telling you he’s right here with you in this? Can you hear him telling you he won’t leave you? Can you hear him telling you he is making a way? LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. To listen to his voice, you have to practice quieting your own.

You know the really funny thing about our dark places where we get overwhelmed and stuck … sometimes it’s not nearly as bad as we think. Actually, most of the time it’s not nearly as bad as we think.

Here I am stuck in this cave, no way out ahead or behind, and I’m doing what I know to do in a panic attack. I’m singing. Did you know singing lowers cortisol and relieves stress and tension. Studies have shown that when people sing, endorphins and oxytocin are released by the brain which in turn lowers stress and anxiety levels. My go to song for my stuck places is Bon Jovi’s “I Ain’t Gonna Live Forever.”

There I am, in this cave, fighting off a panic attack, singing out loud:

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive

Suddenly the crash ahead is cleared, the ATVs ahead of me begin moving. Within seconds of driving just around the corner I see the end of the tunnel. It was right there. This wasn’t the same super long cave tunnel, this was a different one. If I would have only known it was short and I was 50 yards from the opening, I would have never panicked. I wasn’t deep in a cave, I was sitting right around the corner of the opening. Silly me, our return trip was a different route and I just didn’t realize it.

I have to wonder if the darkness you are going through right now isn’t nearly as bad as your panicked thoughts tell you it is. I wonder if the way out isn’t as long or as hard as you imagined. I wonder if God is already handling this for you, and you just need to sing yourself a little song and calm down.

Lean on him. Leaning on your own understanding about this isn’t making it better. You can’t see what God sees. You don’t know what God knows. Lean on the Lord.

I read something late last night that made it onto the pages of my Bible. It says:

“The reason why God doesn’t reveal his entire plan to you all at once is because if he did, then you would get your peace from the information rather than your relationship with him.”

Well isn’t that the dang truth? If I knew my way out, I would lean on what I knew. But when I don’t know and have no way of knowing, then I only have God to lean on. And it’s by great design.

The one who is in control of every detail of your life wants a relationship with you. Lean into him. The way through this probably isn’t as bad as the story you’ve told yourself.

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